Tabula Rasa: Podcast & Beta Reflections/Rant

So, a little earlier on, SIRADIO.FM had CuppaJo, Critters and FireLotus on live answering questions from the "players." I guess what they meant to say was that they were answering questions from "ass kissing" players about retarded ass shit that have only been asked and answered 50 bajillion fuckin trillion times on the fuckin' forums because no one had the balls to ask (and promptly got ignored for) important ass questions like me and my guildies such as:

"How do you shot web?"
"When does Jorgen [from AOC] come on?"
"When will Hellgate Beta start?"
"When does RG:TR come out in Colombia?" (Only it was asked in Spanish.)
"How come the control points aren't handi-accessible?" (Which my friend in a wheelchair was quite curious to know.)

Instead, burning questions such as:

"How do I unstuck myself?"
"Will there be housing?"
"Will there be vehicles?"

And super duperly awesome issues like:

Christmas Time + The Bane in Santa Hats
No Pants (FYI, this was funny none times.)

Were addressed.

Insert 45 minutes moar of ass kissing, insipid giggling and crappy music.

WTF.

Now, I ain't gonna lie--my guildies and I had a lot of fun laffing at stupid people on the podcast and in the game (the dumb fuck we told to increase DEX and CON to and her responses were pretty hilarious as well), but then, after reminding each other we were going to hell, we felt sad and empty for all the dumb shits around us.

But seriously, if you're a fuckin' tester/gamer read the fuckin' boards. All the answers are there and some of them 10 times (some even 50 gazillion, like "When are the play sessions?"). If you can't be motivated to read the boards to help test (I have 3 jobs, 8 mortgages and 17 kids--wah wah) then GTFO. Don't fuckin' sign up to test the fuckin' game.

Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with beta testers and why are there so many fuckin' morons? Ass kiss ass kiss. How do I unstuck? LOLOLOLOLOLOL. How do I shoot my gun? LOLOLOLOL. How do I collect loot?

Hey, I got no problem helping peeps who actually look like they're trying to explore the game on their own but some people....

WHY DON'T YOU FUCKIN' TRY TO "PLAY" THE GAME BEFORE YOU FUCKIN' ASK FOR YOUR FUCKIN' CANDY ASS TO BE WIPED?

For most non mouth breathers, if something doesn't work, they try to find a solution for why that certain something doesn't work often coming up with multiple solutions/theories/scenarios before asking for help. And yet this influx of babies who can't even figure out how to use the WASD after its explained in Boot Camp are pathetic and should apply for a 60th trimester abortion. (TM.)

Grr. I know NC/Destination wants their money (and obviously, other companies want want their moneyz too) so they offer this pre-order beta shit or these anyone can apply for closed beta if they subscribe to this gaming site deals, but damn, it hurts my wittle brain to deal with these morons when /ignore doesn't work all the time.

And in other news, for the end of beta event there's supposedly some concurrent podcast going on SIRADIO.FM as well.

Oh, and the next patch is 9/25/07.

BLARRGGH. Time for sleeps.