Dungeon Runners: Mail Call & Delicious Chunks. MmmMMMm.

Hello again Former Dungeon Runners Member,

Yes, yes, we know that isn't your real name, your screen name, or even our name. But we got your attention, didn't we?

At some point in the past you thought paying $5 a month for Dungeon Runners Membership was a pretty good bargain, but somewhere along the way you stopped your subscription. We faithfully use deodorant, so we know we didn't drive you away, personally speaking.

Maybe the game wasn't being updated fast enough for you or perhaps you thought you could use that extra cup of coffee each month. We don't mind – everyone can use a café latte every now & then. We do want you to know, however, that we've released the first of our major content updates for Dungeon Runners. We're calling it Chunk #1, and it features a wealth of new goods: a Player vs. Player (PvP) experience, lots of new, humorous items to discover (not to mention a new high-level dungeon), new skills and powers, three character slots per account, and boatloads more. We even took out that nasty laggy movement no one seemed to like. Check out the more detailed list below, and please check out Dungeon Runners again to see all of our new improvements. There's more to come!

Updated Content:

* Didn't like the laggy movement "feature" that graced previous versions of Dungeon Runners? Well, we thought we'd give lagless movement a try.
* Catch multiple personality disorder – we've given you 3 characters per account.
* Get Awesome Cleavage, other new skills, cool weapons & armor sets we have added.
* Show off how l33t you are in chat with the new loot-linking system.
* If you're Level 75 or higher, you can tackle the new high-level dungeon, Rasputin's Gulag. Go ahead, we dare you.
* Sick of your pals bragging about how much better they are than you? With the new PvP world, you can show them a thing or two. Or die in the process! Either way, that'll show them who's boss.

You know what? We started playing DR, aka, LOOT RUNNERS, out of boredom and it weren't half bad. Sure, we only played for a month, but for $5 we got a month's worth of mindless entertainment. So if you only have a wittle time, and you prefer fantastical loot over demonic loot bukkake, might I suggest taking a look see at DR?

Remember, it's free and $5 to upgrade for more storage and beddah weapons. Damn you Loot Runner, damn you.

As for me, I'll stick to demonic lootz at HG:L. :)