Pirates of the Caribbean: A Sad Confession

In a moment of desperation, I noticed some mail I received from Disney of all places and opened it. No, I hadn't been rick-rolled, but instead, I got a promotional note about "Pirates of the Caribbean." A couple months ago, I would have scoffed at the offer (and now that I think about it, I did.) But, desperation being desperation, I signed up. I figured, fuck, it's free and it's a game right?

So the installation process wasn't bad at all. It's a smaller game and in about 15 minutes on my connection I was greeted by familiar music. Here come the cinemtics!!! And apparently I've been jailed aka, moved on to the character creation screen. The faces and figures are very cartoony and more simple than PotBS for example, but there's decent customisation to differentiate you from another avatar (mainly through clothing). But the nice thing is that your simple little character is then featured in a number of "cut scenes" a la "Final Fantasy XI" which makes the experience a lot more immersive than other games. (And by the way, Captain Purple Penis, sorry bitch, but if you don't want to pick your name from the pre-approved list, you'll have to actually wait for your name to be approved by a live person. Until then, you're Swashbuckler Lv.1 suckah!)

Anyhoo, after character creation, a Johnny Depp wannabe (it certainly sounds like him but I doubt they got the real actors to do the voices) sloshes his and your way out of jail and into the tutorial section where you meet all the major "Pirate" characters (Elizabeth Swann, Will Turner, Barbarossa etc) and swash buckle your way to your very first sloop (which you name out of another list of pre-approved prefixes/suffixes.)

From what I can tell of the game now, it's not instanced like PotBS, and you actually see other folks fighting on land and sea. The land combat is simple and actually more fluid than PotBS, and the sea combat even more simple...as in, you shoot a left or right broadside from your little dinghy. I must admit it was kinda' fun to actually be able to dodge a barrage of cannonballs with some fierce maneuvering, but not so much fun running into a big galleon which throws fiery ammo at you. *snurf*

According to the tutorial, if you're lucky enough to have friends in the game, you can pilot your vessel (say it like in "Red October") while your friends take control of the guns. Of course, my friends were like, "Fuck that! I ain't playing no Disney game!" so I was all on my lonesome while those fuckers played "Call of Duty." Anyhow, it seems that you get an hour in the boat during which you are judged and given a rating, like "Seaman" or something depending on what you sunk.

Quest wise, it's kill and loot, search and dig, point and shoot and bring back X number of Ys. Nothing too spectacular, but honestly, I haven't seen anything more original than that in the other games I've played so I can't really criticise it. There's no crafting from what I can tell, but at the same time I'm using the limited access deal (the trial size pretty much), so I don't get to use any Voodoo (magic) either, nor do I unlock all the weapons, all the boats and all the games.

So, after my first day, my thoughts are...that it's no "Pirates of the Burning Seas," in regards to looks and serious business status (though seeing how underwhelming PotBS is doing right now, that's not entirely a bad thing), but probably better suited for a more casual, less PvP oriented player who's a fan of the series, it probably ain't bad at all. It might even be a good stepping stone MMO for graduates of "Toon Town," as Disney provides for a number of parental controls on chat and content. The monthly sub is $9.95, but I think for your first month it's only $4.95. Still, for the hardcore player, that month should be enough to finish up the game's story line, and that's a helluva better value for a month's play time versus $30+ for a 2 hour movie night if you find yourself enjoying the trial.

As for me, I'm glad I tried it, but I very much doubt I'll plunk down any amount of plunder for it. Not with "Rainbow Six" coming out on PC tomorrow! Wahahah.